What I Realize About Retirement

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Boredom is a real thing, especially in retirement. Don’t get me wrong, I LOVE being retired, but there are days that I really don’t want to do anything but lay down or watch television. I tend to feel guilty about those days, but on the other days I really do try to be productive.

What I need to realize though is that it’s ok to do nothing for a day. Being retired IS my job now. I’m not “less than” because I don’t work outside of the home. I have a husband and dog that I take care of now! LOL

Cedric & Moki

My son Ramel has his own place and job, so the Mommy part of my life is quite different now. I’m so thankful that Ramel is self-sufficient and happy. When he was small, our life was nothing like it is now. We’ve been without a home, car and so many other things, but God has truly blessed us.

My retirement is one of those blessings! I was burnt out at work and my health (especially mental) was on a downward spiral. God has granted me the time to concentrate on myself and I refuse to feel guilty about resting when it’s necessary!

I am working on ME

I’m struggling to find words today.

Nothing is wrong or anything, I just feel “quiet”. I’ve been doing a lot of thinking over these last few days and I am trying to make steps toward quieting my anxiety. Yes, I’m on meds but do I really want to be on them for the rest of my life? NO.

I’m working on eating better and getting out of my comfort zone. Those 2 things are really big for me. It’s slow going, but I AM moving forward. One day at a time.

I got out this weekend with a friend and that felt really good. You really don’t realize how isolated you are until you get to step out and enjoy something. I thank God for my life and the support He has put around me. God has been good to me when I didn’t even know how to be good to myself.

Lord, continue to help me walk towards a more confident life.

Covid-19 and my mental health


It’s been a long few days. I feel like my body is beginning to be affected by the stress of this quarantine. It needs to end. At first, as a mental health patient, I thought the quarantine wasn’t really affecting me at all, but it may just be doing it in a different way.

I’m not exactly sick, but my gut isn’t doing well (that’s all I’ll say on that!).I feel like I’ve gained at least 10 lbs and I am really in need of my beautician and nail salon!!! It’s time to get back to real life people!

On the brighter side, my husband and I have learned a few new things about each other. LOL We missed our anniversary on March 17 due to Covid-19, but we really don’t want to ALSO miss celebrating his May birthday!

I’m going to rest today, knowing that this too shall pass.

Life Changes: Permanently Retired

So much has happened since my last post when I was going into residential treatment for PTSD! While I was there, I resigned from my job and I have been out of work since then.

But God has prevailed! I am permanently disabled by way of the VA, so I no longer have to worry about how my family is going to make it financially without my working. I am at home full time now and let me tell you, it really does take some getting used to!

In the midst of the Coronavirus pandemic, I am relearning what things I enjoy and what things bring me peace. I’m so grateful to God that Cedric is working from home. With the status of this pandemic, him being here with me brings me peace. I’m learning to adjust to my limitations (mentally) and learning how to not burden myself too much. It’s ok to rest. It’s ok.

I’m also trying to concentrate more on my body and what it needs; daily movement and healthy food! I’m trying to get my life back.

Thank you Lord for this opportunity!