The Struggle is Real

plant on fire
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Do you struggle with depression? I do and it’s been harder lately. When I recognize this, I always ask myself, what have you been doing? This time, the answer is “isolating”.

It’s been a year now since I have been on the dental implant journey and I am at the last step, waiting for my finals. I don’t go out with girlfriends anymore. I’m in the house everyday with Moki and it’s driving me crazy. Then most people would say, Get out of the house!

Well, that’s easy to do when your money is right. Hubby and I are taking some steps right now to reduce bills, so we are restricting ourselves and it’s getting to me. LOL Shopping is out right now and it’s too hot to just be out for nothing.

I pray that God gives me the strength to overcome this bout of depression and move forward. It’s not easy, even when you know what it is…

Depression and Anxiety Along with Aging

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It’s been hard. Being someone who struggles with depression and anxiety can be debilitating, but I try my best to be positive about most things.

It seems like as I get older, I’m more afraid. It’s like every little ache or pain scares me into thinking something may be wrong. I do have health issues and they are currently under control, but this aging thing sucks!

It’s hard when you start realizing you can’t do some of the things you’re used to doing. Now, I have to find new ways to get things done and I’m not gonna lie, that’s not a good feeling.

I realize things could be much worse and I am truly blessed for my health to be what it is. With retirement in 2019 and the changes taking place in my body, I feel out of control sometimes. I need to feel in control of my health again. It’s like when you age, it’s out of your hands and that’s scary for me.

If you’re a Christian reading this, please pray for me that I’ll have the strength to get my health under control and feel better. I can’t let depression and anxiety scare me away from aging with grace.

I have all of the tools I need. Now I just need the strength to use them.

I so appreciate everyone who stops by to read my blog. I don’t know why you do it but I love you for it! 😊

Depression Slump

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I’ve been putting off blogging for the last few days. I was in a hole. I’ve got to admit, my depression had gotten the best of me. I ended up isolated for about a week and it wreaked havoc on my mental state. I often forget how important it is to get out of the house. It’s like I get stuck inside for a few days and the longer I stay in, the harder it is for me to get out.

During this “down” week, I’ve had lots of crazy dreams. I notice that they get weirder when I’m depressed. I was able to feel better over the weekend though. It helps that I can confide in my husband how I am feeling. Sometimes it’s hard to put into words, but he’s learned me over the last 6 years. I so appreciate his support.

I think part of the depression was due to stress. I had been overthinking my dentist appointment and just praying that we would be able to move onto the next step. I’m so thankful that the appointment was a success and my next one will be to check out my wax try ins! I’m almost at the end of this dental implant journey and it’s been a long time coming.

I think the implants and a few other things were just all wearing on me. The load got a little heavy. One day at a time.

God Has Been Speaking to Me

For the last week or so I’ve felt the cloak of depression. At first, I wasn’t really sure what I was feeling, but as the days went on, I realized it for what it was. I told my husband that I was feeling frustrated, and he asked me about what? At the time, I didn’t have an answer. I was just feeling irritated and stressed and didn’t know why.

Last night, I realized why. I’m frustrated with myself. I get so down on myself sometimes when I think about my limitations. I’m afraid about my dental appointment coming up and I’m feeling more and more pain in my hips, but I know it’s from inactivity. I’m frustrated because I’m not progressing the way I should be.

I’m tired of letting things hold me back from doing what I need to do.

I had a long prayer with God today. I really need his help. I need strength. And I KNOW I can do all things through Christ who strengthens me! Thank you, Lord, for clarity. Help me to do the things daily that I need to do to get to the next level of my life. I’m tired of holding myself back.

2 Things I Need a Break From, Right Now!

Do you need a break? From what?

Surely I need a break. Yes indeed! What do I need a break from? So many things! But I will tell you my top 2.

  • Feeling unattractive. It’s been 11 months now waiting to get my dental implants. It’s hard to look in the mirror and not recognize who you see. It’s a journey.
  • Worrying about money. My family has come so far and we are so blessed. God always provides; so why worry?

I recognize that my anxiety/depression have a lot to do with these 2 things so I try hard to keep them in perspective. I’m so thankful for my husband and his support and understanding. I couldn’t make it through this journey without God and him.

I’m working on myself daily. It’s slow going but progress is progress. One day at a time.

Too Many Balls In The Air

It feels like I have too many balls in the air right now! Sometimes I feel frazzled when too much is happening!

My surgery on the 26th of January went well. I’m back to eating mush until my gums heal, but they are coming along. They are more painful now than when I had the teeth extracted. I guess that’s from the gum “shaving”! In another week or two, the stitches should have come out and I can go back in to redo my impressions.

We are steadily settling into the townhome. There are a lot of differences from the old apartment, but that’s what we wanted. Moki hasn’t truly gotten to enjoy the backyard yet, especially now with the ice coverage. Spring is coming for her!

Hubby is home with us until Friday because of this Texas weather. I always love his company ❤️. We have been watching Netflix, Prime and Hulu like crazy! We started a new series on Prime this morning called Three Pines. We are only on episode 3, but it seems pretty good. Hubby and I love a good mystery!

I’m really looking forward to this weather breaking. I’m not a fan of winter at all. It’s actually kind of depressing. Moki doesn’t seem to like it much either! Life goes on. We shall be victorious! 😅


What many people don’t understand is that people with depression have so many things to deal with that they don’t ever get mentioned. The thoughts about everything going on can really weigh on you. We have a whole second set of things to handle beyond the surface. All I can do is my best.