Once again, Spring is coming and I’m still fat. My husband doesn’t agree that I am as fat as I claim to be, but trust me, I’m fat enough. Most of my extra weight is around my middle…I’m skinny everywhere else! Eating has always been emotional for me, so that doesn’t help the situation.
I’m trying to move more while indoors and I’m also trying to get into the habit of taking Moki to the dog park. I enjoy taking her to the trails to walk but the coyote sightings have me a little timid. I do have a walking stick that I take with me, but is that really going to work if I run up on a coyote or two? Moki is small, so she would definitely draw their attention. I’ll figure it out.
What I really need is a bicycle! I don’t really have the extra funds to get one right now, but it is definitely on my list of wants. I haven’t been on a bicycle in many years, but I used to love it. I bet it would feel awesome to ride again! I’m trying to find ways to be more active in my regular, daily life. I’m 52 and trying my best to stay healthy. Losing about 20 lbs. would be amazing! I’d even rejoice at 10! LOL
Hey friends. I’m just sitting here having my morning coffee and thinking about how blessed we are. I’m not too sure what I should blog about today and the daily prompt was a little too heavy for me. Our new home is coming along and we love it! A friend of mine in the area was able to come over and visit for a few hours the other day. 🙂
I’ve been trying to get back into my routine of daily exercise. Nothing major right now, just walking. I’m signed up on the app NextDoor and I’m seeing a lot of posts about coyotes in the area. I haven’t run up on any yet and I don’t plan to! I’ve been taking Moki to the dog park just to be on the safe side. I’m only willing to walk on the streets when Cedric and I go together to take Moki out.
I was able to get a free membership at Planet Fitness because of my Silver Sneakers membership! No, I haven’t gone and worked out yet but I promise…. soon. lol I’m fighting with my anxiety every day to do things differently. I’m winning! One step at a time!
Are any of you members of Planet Fitness or Silver Sneakers?
I just love the view outside of my window now. It looks so peaceful and it makes me want to just slow down and take it all in. I’m so thankful for this new place. It will require us to make some changes, but they are well worth it. It even pushes me to get outside of my comfort zone a little (one step at a time!).
We have a lot within walking distance of here. Less than 1/2 mile away is a complete shopping center…actually 2; one on each side of the street. Yesterday, I put on my walking shoes and grabbed my walking stick and journeyed up there. It was a leisurely stroll that took 15 mins each way, but the sun was shining and I felt good.
People who don’t suffer from anxiety might not see this as a big accomplishment, but for those of us who know, you know it is! It felt good to step out (literally!).
Why? Because when I was young, I used to write lots of poetry about my life. I even used to keep them in a black binder in hopes of getting them published one day. I remember back in junior high and high school, I always felt like my best friends had their own best friends and it wasn’t me. I used to write poetry about being “second best”. I felt that way my whole life. I was never good enough to be first.
I joined the Army in 1991. I was 19 years old. I met my first husband there and he was also the first man I’d ever been with. He made me feel like I wasn’t pretty enough to go places with him. He would tell me things his friends would say about me. He made me feel embarrassed about myself. He ended up cheating on me and leaving me for another woman. I still wasn’t good enough to be first.
He has brought a wonderful man into my life who knows the true meaning of the word Love. He shows me every day that I AM FIRST. He takes care of me and my heart. He supports me in my many struggles. I love him so much and I thank God for him every day.
Surely I need a break. Yes indeed! What do I need a break from? So many things! But I will tell you my top 2.
Feeling unattractive. It’s been 11 months now waiting to get my dental implants. It’s hard to look in the mirror and not recognize who you see. It’s a journey.
Worrying about money. My family has come so far and we are so blessed. God always provides; so why worry?
I recognize that my anxiety/depression have a lot to do with these 2 things so I try hard to keep them in perspective. I’m so thankful for my husband and his support and understanding. I couldn’t make it through this journey without God and him.
I’m working on myself daily. It’s slow going but progress is progress. One day at a time.
It feels like I have too many balls in the air right now! Sometimes I feel frazzled when too much is happening!
My surgery on the 26th of January went well. I’m back to eating mush until my gums heal, but they are coming along. They are more painful now than when I had the teeth extracted. I guess that’s from the gum “shaving”! In another week or two, the stitches should have come out and I can go back in to redo my impressions.
We are steadily settling into the townhome. There are a lot of differences from the old apartment, but that’s what we wanted. Moki hasn’t truly gotten to enjoy the backyard yet, especially now with the ice coverage. Spring is coming for her!
Hubby is home with us until Friday because of this Texas weather. I always love his company ❤️. We have been watching Netflix, Prime and Hulu like crazy! We started a new series on Prime this morning called Three Pines. We are only on episode 3, but it seems pretty good. Hubby and I love a good mystery!
I’m really looking forward to this weather breaking. I’m not a fan of winter at all. It’s actually kind of depressing. Moki doesn’t seem to like it much either! Life goes on. We shall be victorious! 😅
What many people don’t understand is that people with depression have so many things to deal with that they don’t ever get mentioned. The thoughts about everything going on can really weigh on you. We have a whole second set of things to handle beyond the surface. All I can do is my best.