Ramel is 20 years old and he moved into his first apartment yesterday. I am so proud of him! When I came home and saw his room empty, it kind of stunned me. It’s been just him and I since he was 3 years old. He means the world to me.
I pray that God keeps His hands on him and I told him, I’m always here for him.
Thank you Lord for helping me raise Ramel on my own. Thank you for the man that he has become!
After talking to my therapist last week, I have been trying to realize the negative thoughts that I have WHEN I have them so that I can practice “letting them go”. I realize that once a thought gets into my head, I kind of run with it and when it’s a negative one, it can influence your entire day.
There was a time in my life when I didn’t know that you could control your thoughts. I believed you had to think whatever fell into your head.
When you’re forced to deal with the public all day, it can be extremely hard to stay on point. The first few days I tried letting go of the negative as it came, it worked wonderfully. But by day 3, I was struggling. I have to literally take it minute by minute.
My depression has me feeling like I am wearing a heavy cloak on my shoulders. I’m tired of lugging it around. I’ve got to let it go.
A few days ago was a bugger! I had this big, long blog post to put on here, but my husband let me know that I may have needed to adjust it alittle before I posted it. I decided it was more of a personal rant and I decided to not post it at all.
Some days are worse than others. I had to take yesterday off just to breathe and I am always amazed at how much better I feel. Sometimes, when you have an invisible illness, it’s easy to feel guilty when you feel like you need a break. There are times when you can’t really explain why you need a break, you just DO!
But the way I stop feeling guilty about it is by realizing how much better I feel after I get a minute to myself. I can think. I can plan. I can be productive on my own terms. I need that.
I would love to one day be at home permanently, but until then, I just ask God to help me to take it one day at a time.